Too much
It was hard to come home from vacation. I forgot how hard it is to be a mother, daughter, wife, best friend, and aunty. For the first time in a long time I laid in my bed and just cried. I'm so sad because sometimes I don't think I can live up to the expectations people put on me. It is so overwhelming to feel like I have to be everything to everyone. It might have been self pitty but I just felt like it was too much yesterday. Seems like when I ask for the same in return I don't get it. I have so much going on behind the scenes that really I don't ever let anyone see. I'm constintly jungling more than I can handle.
I can honetly say it is just hard somedays. I always try to make everyone happy and not to hurt anyones feelings. I don't like when the people I most care about are mad.....especially when they are mad at me.
For the first time in a really long time I smiled for a whole week. It was so nice to not have to worry about anything or anyone for a whole week. That sounds selfish but I think I really needed it. I really didn't do a whole lot on my vacation but drive. That whole time I was never stressed about friends, money, kids or parents. In california my family was so welcoming. It was nice to feel apart of something....that I really don't feel like here. I feel like my family here i give so much and don't get a whole lot back in return.
When I heard my mom practically had a nervous breakdown from watching my kids for two days it broke my heart. I don't understand. I know they can get out of hand somedays but I really don't think my kids are that bad. If you were to ask me I think there the BEST!
Today is Mason's last day of school. I have to go talk to him teacher about next year what is making me sick to my stomach just thinking about. It is so hard to have your child that is so far behind the other kids. It makes even more difficult that I scheduled his cardiology appointment yesterday to find out if he still has a whole in his heart.
I know this is just alot of venting but I just really don't have anyone to talk to right now other than a computer.
I can honetly say it is just hard somedays. I always try to make everyone happy and not to hurt anyones feelings. I don't like when the people I most care about are mad.....especially when they are mad at me.
For the first time in a really long time I smiled for a whole week. It was so nice to not have to worry about anything or anyone for a whole week. That sounds selfish but I think I really needed it. I really didn't do a whole lot on my vacation but drive. That whole time I was never stressed about friends, money, kids or parents. In california my family was so welcoming. It was nice to feel apart of something....that I really don't feel like here. I feel like my family here i give so much and don't get a whole lot back in return.
When I heard my mom practically had a nervous breakdown from watching my kids for two days it broke my heart. I don't understand. I know they can get out of hand somedays but I really don't think my kids are that bad. If you were to ask me I think there the BEST!
Today is Mason's last day of school. I have to go talk to him teacher about next year what is making me sick to my stomach just thinking about. It is so hard to have your child that is so far behind the other kids. It makes even more difficult that I scheduled his cardiology appointment yesterday to find out if he still has a whole in his heart.
I know this is just alot of venting but I just really don't have anyone to talk to right now other than a computer.
posted by Trina Henderson at
9:14 AM
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